Sunday Morning

We don't go to church until late in the afternoon.

It makes Sunday mornings problematic.  Some Sundays look like this:

We lounge in pajamas.  We hang out.  The Boy imports cars on to my desk.  We sip some fizzy drinks and chat.

Other Sunday mornings look like this:

We can't seem to get motivated beyond the Bed.  We attempt to get up and get going and yet, we collapse back down.  The Cats seem to have their own gravitational force and we are not quite strong enough to escape from it.

And still other Sundays look a lot like this:

A father-son jam in the bedroom floor.


As for my Sunday mornings?  I make breakfast and hang with the band.

Phew.

Well, that was a family marathon of a weekend.

My sister Sherry--her in-laws came in to town on Wednesday, and then our sister Susie came in on Thursday and then our sister-in-law came in on Friday.  So Friday night we all gathered at the temple and it was amazing!

Then Saturday was my nephew (Sherry's youngest) Joshua's baptism which was lovely, and then we took a break and then met my sisters over at my other nephew's (Matthew) football game.  Let me tell you how hilarious the Boy was through all of this.  He's learning his cousin's names so he can just demand who he wants.  He sat on my lap in the bleachers and I would point out Bubba (much to Matthew's dismay, this nickname isn't going anywhere) and explain to the Boy that Bubba was playing football.  And the Boy would say "Bubba-Football" and then when we would yell and cheer good plays he would throw his hands in the hair and say "GOOOOOAAAAAL!"  It was 477 shades of AWESOME.

At half-time we packed up Susie and her 3rd daughter, 4th child Mae (May-ah, short for Maekalia) and drove down to my parents' house.  We gathered up the folks and went out to dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday.  We crowded 'round the table at a local Panera and ate and talked and told stories and laughed and Susie fed my child high fructose corn syrup and I let her because as I get older I'm starting to learn how to let other people love my child they way they want to.

We drove home (very late) and put the Boy to bed (very late) and went to bed ourselves (very late) and then decided to sleep very late on Sunday morning. 

Sherry doesn't go to church until 1:45 which is alarmingly late in the day, so we hung out and rested and had some down time until it was time to head over to her building.  Her oldest (William) is leaving for his mission in 2 weeks and so yesterday was the last time he was going to speak in church.  It was strange and wonderful to be all together during church.  The Boy fell asleep on top of me, turning us both into sweaty messes.

We headed back to Sherry's house to load up the food for William's farewell party (he had invited a ton of friends in addition to family to come and eat and chat and hug and say "See you later, tater.") and then say good-bye.  Susie and Mae are returning home today, I'm pretty sure my sister's in-laws are also heading home today.

I was hugging Susie and saying bye and it just made me so sad that we can't live closer all together.  It's so fun to get together and chat and tell stories and laugh.  I'm so lucky in my sisters.  They are smart and funny and wise.  They're strong and tough and resilient.  They're brave and selfless mothers.  I couldn't have asked for better.

Weekend in Burnstopia

Only in Burnstopia would we consider the Shrimp and Grits Festival (also known as the Chris Death Fest) as weekend entertainment!

And guess what! We brought the CAMERA!!! It's like we're real grown-ups or something!

So, just so you know, we went as an exercise in irony (I'm a vegetarian, Chris is wildly allergic to anything that turns pink when you cook it--among other things) but also to get out and about in the community, get some local flavah.

Here's what we learned!

1. The Shrimp and Grits festival celebrates Georgia wild caught shrimp.
   
2. It's still really HOT down here.
3. 20,000 PEOPLE will visit during the festival. TWENTY THOUSAND!!

Enough talk--on to the pictures!

We parked a few miles away from the venue, and there were shuttles that transferred people from parking to the event sight, but we had the Boy and the BIG stroller so we opted to walk instead of ride. I counted it as my workout for the day and I'm pretty sure I sweated off about 5 pounds. The bike path we followed wound through a golf course...

I am married to a lovely man. He is smart and funny and he's doing really well in his job. The man can NOT pass a golf course and NOT pick up stray golf balls. I am NOT kidding when I tell you that he has a LARGE shoe box FULL of golf balls. It's a compulsion with this man. I've seen it.

Southeast coastal Georgia agrees! This IS the cutest Boy!
We win! We get to keep him!

Behold, the Founders of the Feast.

There's a big amateur cooking contest. I am befuddled, how many ways can you cook shrimp and grits? Alas, if left to Burnstopia, we shall never know.


Will someone please revive me? I have just melted from the charm and loveliness of my family.


All in all, it was a fun day. We all got too much sun, too many people, but it ended at home with ice cream and cool baths. I was surprised how many kids were there. It's been one of those odd differences between Here and There (being Durham)--there aren't that many kids down here. Lots of old people though.

And....done.

So this weekend was the Boy's blessing. In our church we don't christen babies, we give them a name and a blessing. And...you guessed it! We have no pictures.

That's not entirely true, there are pictures, those elusive ethereal things, but they're on my SIL's camera and NOT in the state of North Carolina. So we'll see. Maybe I'll post some when we get some...but maybe not. But my sister did this huge party for the Boy and it was spectacular! There was barbecue and salads and fruit and veg and cake and cookies (homemade by my mom, natch!) and tons of friends and family (naturally) and everyone wanting to hold the boy and the Boy really wanting to go and lay down! I was telling my sister (laughingly) that it's no wonder babies cry a lot at the beginning, they go from this warm, dark, muffled environment to being out in the air and the light and surrounded by big noisy people who all want to hold him and our faces must seem ginormous to them and we get up close and personal and probably freak them out.

In the meantime, we have visited and visited and visited until the Boy has howled (and I mean HOWLED) with exhaustion and over-stimulation. Example! Last night he slept from 9pm until 5 am STRAIGHT. I fed him and put him back down and he slept again until 8am. Yeah. He was pooped. We said good-bye to the Husband's family this morning, went grocery shopping, came home, fed the Boy and put him down for a nap at 2pm and he slept for 3 hours. Poor kid. We've worn him out and he's on 7 weeks old. But! Now that he's slept some, he's so happy! It's actually quite fun having a happy baby...he's rather entertaining.

And as much as I've enjoyed having family up here, I'm ready to go back to normal life...well, as normal as it can be with a baby in tow. I've planned NOTHING for this week so that he and I can go back to our routine and have some down time.

Sitting here, things are awfully quiet, I think I need to go check out what's going on...now it's your turn, what did you do this weekend?

Baby Shower Photos, wha-huh?

So.

Remember how I said earlier that I had some awesome pictures from the baby shower and that a photo essay would be forthcoming?

Yeah.

Not so much.

I really need to learn how to use our camera.

Here's what I do have:

This is the food table. There was a lot. It was all very yummy. Well, I know the veggie stuff was yummy and I take it on the Husband's authority that the meaty stuff was yummy as well.

The centerpiece is baby socks twisted into flowers--made by my sister-in-law's own two hands. And those trays? Yep. Real silver.

The Boy is doomed. He's not even here and he's already spoiled.

Those tomato sandwiches? I ate about 4 frillion of them. It was one of those embarrassing moments where you're just standing and talking and eating and you look down and realize, "Wow. I've just eaten 4 frillion tomato sandwiches. GAMES ANYONE?"

Then there's this other picture:














That's the cake. Isn't it beeeeauuuutiful? The lovely Sister-in-law did the whole shower around the VW Beetle that the Husband drives, so it was on the invitations, the cake, and those tiny, fuzzy things? Yep. Those are Beetle finger puppets. Are you dying from cuteness yet? I did.

Anyway. I'm sorry there are no shower pictures yet. My other sister-in-law was the principle photographer and she is MUCH better than I am. She knows how her camera works, whereas me? not so much. I have hopes that she will send me a CD of the pictures soon. Theoretically, that means that we may have a blog photo essay BEFORE the Boy arrives.

But I'm not making any promises.

Marriage

Well, we're back.

It was a long weekend. A good weekend, just long. And it was hard. I'm exhausted. In fact I don't think I can remember ever having been so bone-weary exhausted in my entire life.

We left on Friday morning and drove the happy driving tour of South Carolina rest stops. The bonus was that we totally surprised his Dad which makes me ridiculously happy. We pulled in to the store parking lot just as Dad was walking from his car to the dumpster to dump some trash and he looked so surprised that I couldn't help but applaud! It was one of the best moments of the weekend.

We made the rounds of greetings and tried to set some plans. We headed to the house and unloaded the few bags that we brought with us and made some dinner plans. The Husband wasn't feeling so well so I got to pick and that means I got my Vinnies! It was a Friday night of a holiday weekend so the place was PACKED, so rather than wait for an hour for a table we got our slices to go (and a salad for the Boy--natch!) and drove over to Leopolds. We ate in the car--by this point I was so hungry that there was no talking it was just eat eat eat nom nom nom. We cleaned up and crossed the street for some creamy and delicious ice cream and then headed home all stuffed and happy.

That night was easy...we headed to bed at a reasonable hour and then up again Saturday morning. We did breakfast with The Husband's Grandma and then puttered around town. We hit Bass Pro Shop for the Husband's redneck needs and then a local golf shop--he's been shopping for golf clubs for a while now. We hung out at the store with the family for a bit until I was ready to cry from the TIREDS that ate the Wife. So it was back to the house where I napped for a few hours and then the Husband and I went to dinner.

I feel the need to digress a bit. The Husband has been friends with the same group of his friends since the seventh grade. I find this a bit difficult to wrap my head around. I have no memories of seventh grade, let alone friends. But they really are like family to him. And every year on Memorial day weekend they gather at a family owned beach house out on Tybee island where they sit and talk and eat and drink and swim all weekend long. This would be the annual Sausage Fest--and yes, it means exactly what you think it means. It started out as a core group of 5-6 boys and the occasional SEES would pop in and out. Over the years it's been increasingly infiltrated by the Girls (the girlfriends of the Sausages) but it's a tradition that continues on and on in spite of school and jobs and distance. (Please try to remember that the Wife? She is not a beach-person. She turns lobster pink in about 15 minutes of sun so the idea of spending a WEEKEND at the BEACH is a little bit--ok, painfully insane to her, but she loves the Husband who LOVES the beach so off they go. We don't sleep there and we rarely go during the heat of the day, but we always make at least one appearance.)

We didn't go to dinner Saturday night until late-ish. So by the time that we were done it was nigh unto 9:30. We were on our way back to the house for a Zantec--for the Husband, oddly enough--when we got the call from some friends that they were all heading to the P.G. house and how about we meet them there?! So off we go again! Now, I adore the Husband and I love this particular family so regardless of the Tireds that ate the Wife I was going to go with him.

Here is one of those little known facts about marriage. When one person wants to do something but the other one either doesn't want to OR feels like they CAN'T because of the Tireds that ate that person--the Tired person CAN stay home, but the other one will feel BAD and GUILTY and TORN and it will effectively suck all the pleasure out of that experience for that other person. So it's the better choice for the TIRED person to Take One for the Team and just GO so that the other person can wallow in the Love and be HAPPY.

We didn't get home until 1:30am. Do you know when I last stayed up until 1:30am of my own free will? I think MAYBE grad school? When I was studying for my oral exams? Maybe? Which would make it 3 years ago, now? It's not something I take pleasure in doing--I'm just not a night person. Anyway, I digress.

Sunday came and we did church and then helped clean up the house for the shower. I helped my lovely Sister in Law assemble 8 million little sandwiches and the Husband helped Dad. Now, where I come from, when you have a shower you invited say...30 people and about 30% of them show up. But in Savannah? With the Husband's family? If you invite 30 people. 30 PEOPLE WILL SHOW UP!!! So the house was packed.

It was great though. Crowded and loud and noisy but full of these people who really LOVE the Husband and helped to make him the amazing person that we all know and love. I was completely and totally overwhelmed but it was so great just to see everyone together and happy and so excited for this Boy to come into our lives that I just wanted to stand in the corner and cry for a bit. (The Crying came later, and in private, thank Heavens.) The food was amazing and everything was beautiful! I have pictures! Photo essay to come later!

We went out to the beach house that night after everyone--or most everyone, had headed home. And The Husband and his friends were all mellow and jolly and well fed and sun-kissed and happy. And yes, even though it was VERY late (again) the light was golden and everyone was safe and healthy and happy and in that moment everything else fades away and you realize how much you love that person--enough to set aside the Tireds and the Overwhelms and everything else and just sit and bask in the glow of that person in their natural habitat.

That's marriage.

So we finally go home. We go to bed. We get up and pack and load and say our good-byes. We climb back into our little yellow beetle and head for home. We get home, we unpack, we sort through the various gifts we got--laughing all over again over some of them--we wash clothes and faces and climb into Bed Sweet Bed with the cats and finally, finally, go to sleep.

Savannah the First Day

Here's what I've learned after driving for 6 hours down I-95 to Savannah, Georgia:



State run rest area toilets really were NOT designed with pregnant women in mind.



You go in to a supposedly normal stall and suddenly you're bumping into walls, doors, the toilet paper dispenser and the toilet itself.


It's not exactly comfortable. But it is servicable.

The Weekend that Was and the Week still to BE

The Husband is still following me around tugging on my t-shirt and hoping to get me to rest. In the meantime, however, I am PRODUCTIVE!!!

Here's what our weekend shaped up to be:

• Made bread---um. Please don't tell my sister, I'm pretty sure that white bread (homemade or not) is not good for my blood sugar--but say it with me, YUM.
• Made pie--um. See above. BUT! It was strawberry pie and strawberries are very good for you. And the cream is dairy!
• Cleaned the apartment. Ok. So, I did some organizing and cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the bedroom and the hallway and then I was so tired that I thought to myself, "I'm just going to sit down for a minute and take a breather"--and I sort of fell asleep. For 45 minutes. But the point is, that the apartment got cleaned! The Husband, he cleaned the bathroom and took down the additional desk in the front room and LO! We maaaay have some space for a rocking chair in there.
• Much trash and recycling hauled out and away.
  
• Filing filing filing! I finally cleaned out the 6 accumulated feet of papers for filing and filled up 2 filing cabinet drawers. But the piles? They are no more! And the Husband? With the big box of filing and the even bigger PILE on top of the box of filing? He is NEARLY done! I'm so happy I could cry a little.
  
• Laundry. Lots of laundry.
• Grocery shopping! We're continuing the great pantry restock of 2008 so that once the boy gets here we have minimal shopping that will be required.
• The Great Compounding of Family Cookbooks. When we got married the Husband received a BIG 3-ring binder of his family recipes and I received a slightly smaller 3-ring binder of my family recipes. And, oh, about a year ago I decided it would be good to combine the two notebooks into one hefty notebook and to take out all the recipes that we a) CAN'T eat or b) WON'T eat. So everything with crab, shrimp, crayfish or lobster came out because I am a vegetarian and those tasty little shellfish would KILL the Husband. And various other dishes that neither of us care for or would willingly cook and eat came out as well. The remaining recipes--and there are literally HUNDREDS, I have been typing, categorizing, alphabetizing and organizing to my little heart's content. Last week I managed to work half way through the pile and over the weekend they were sorted into their respective categories. I'm a little embarrassed at how happy this project makes me.

And since that was our weekend, let me give you a glimpse into the week still to be:

• Work work work. meh. It's boring and repetitive and annoying because I have stuff to do!
• Our first birth class is Tuesday night. Pray for us sinners--I feel a great deal of SARCASM heading our way.
  
• Wednesday night begins the laundry cycle all over again...it will also probably begin the MASS gathering up of stuff to go to Savannah. I'm also vaguely hoping for a pedicure on Wednesday night.
  
• Thursday is the continuation of the laundry cycle which will culminate in PACKING. And frantic loving on the cats because even though I know how miserable they are in the car for that long, I still worry about them when they aren't with us.
  
• Friday morning will probably consist of me having a minor temper tantrum at the prospect of spending 6 hours in the car...a tantrum that will likely end in sulking which will be terminated by the Husband teasing and prodding me and playing name that tune with me--with my iPod on shuffle, and since it is MY iPod and MY music, I generally WIN. The victory will be gloated over which will terminate that previously identified FUNK.
• BUT! Friday night I have been promised Vinnies Pizza--the BEST pizza outside of Italy itself! And Leopold's ice cream which is homemade at their little ice cream parlor on Broughton and I can't tell for certain but I think I have Chewy Chocolate cookie in my future.

I have no idea what's on the docket for Saturday but Sunday afternoon my lovely sister in law Jenn is having a shower for the Boy and the invitation was so cute that I can't wait to see it! Monday will probably mean another one of those minor temper tantrums followed by sulking followed by Name that Tune and another trouncing victory because of the 6 HOURS in the car with minimal stopping and my poor aching hips, back, legs...UTERUS. But for now, it looks to be a fun weekend--let's hope for the proverbial wallowing in family love with a heaping side serving of Belly/Baby love.

The Weakened Weekend

So, one of the things I left out of the anniversary post was 1, 462 ways the Husband and I are totally different.

I took Friday off from work. Now, in my head, I was thinking, "This is awesome! I'll get all the projects done around the apartment that I don't have energy to do during the work week and no time to do on the weekend!" And the Husband was thinking, "This is awesome! I'll finally get her to REST!"

So I got up on Friday all set to work work work in our apartment (we're no longer moving, the hassle was just not worth saving $10 a month in rent) and the Husband slept in. To put things in perspective here are my lists:

Things I WANTED to get done on Friday:

• clean out closets
• clean out bookshelves
• pull all the furniture out of our study in order to rearrange it so that it actually fits
• haul stuff to the Goodwill
• reorganize cupboards in the kitchen
• CLEAN, as in deep clean, spring clean whatever you choose to call it.
• haircut
• pedicure

Things I ACTUALLY got done on Friday:

• made 2 strawberry pies
• fantastically gory, panic infused meltdown.

Yep. That's it. We did get some cleaning done on Saturday and some sorting of things out. And we also made a "To Do" list of things for the Husband to work on this week whilst I am here at work. And I did quite a bit of the Resting thing on Sunday.

It's my fault, I should have done a better job of communicating my expectations to the Husband about what I wanted to do on Friday. And I should have called for a hair appointment on Monday instead of Friday morning. Instead I had a meltdown and helped the Husband eat 2 strawberry pies in 3 days.

Baby Tamarins

Just be forewarned. This post isn't really going anywhere.

I love this picture! Partly because The Child is approximately the same size as these monkeys and one can only hope that the Child is not quite as hairy but just as cute.

Tomorrow we're going to Baltimore to visit these people. I can't begin to tell you all how excited I am. If I had the energy I would totally be bouncing in my seat right now.

We were supposed to get snow this week. Supposed to. It didn't happen. We did get RAIN! And school kids got to sleep in and slack for RAIN! It cracks me up when they delay school the night before we're supposed to get icy weather. We're also supposed to get snow again tomorrow. HA! I'll believe it when I see it.

In the meantime, all I want to do right now is lay on the couch and read Harry Potter. Is this some sort of pregnancy symptom that nobody warned me about? Seriously. We have all kinds of great movies in our house and I have no interest in watching them. Poor Husband has been waiting so patiently for me to watch movies with him and all I want to do is read Harry Potter. I've also progressed from my DIRE craving for pineapple to an unquenchable craving for nachos with black beans and white corn and this salsa from Target that must have lime juice in it because it's just so perky!

Just thought you'd all want to know. I know how thrilling it is to keep up with crazy pregnant lady's cravings, so I'm really here to serve the public's voracious appetite for information. What can I say? We here at Burnstopia aim to please.

Let me think...is there any real, serious, interesting news?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Hmmm. Apparently, not so much. I suppose I shall now inquire, what are your plans for this weekend?

Updates, various

First, an update on the ongoing saga of the Los Potrillos suckage.

They POISONED the Husband!


He said on Thursday that he wasn't feeling so good. I thought, "Eh. He's a man. He's got a cold, he'll whine and get over it." Friday was the day from Hell. The day that will go down in infamy as the day that the Husband heaved up anything and everything in his almost totally empty belly. The day he puked in the sink. The day he dry-heaved in the parking lot. It was bad bad bad.

By 10:30pm he wanted Gatorade. So we schlepped to Kroger and bought the poor man some Gatorade. By Saturday morning the puking had subsided and he was on the mend. By Sunday he wanted biscuits and eggs and soup later on. All in all, it was a very much better day.

Curse you, Los Potrillos! We hate you with the fire of a thousand suns!

On the Christmas tree front, I think we're going to get the decorations out. Rearrange the furniture so that we can easily put up the Christmas tree whenever I decide to do it after we get back. And yes, I have to do the whole thing myself because the Husband? He is a Scrooooooge.

It's okay though. He has many redeeming qualities.

Weekend Survival Challenge

Want to hear something funny?

I survived the weekend> chores on Saturday, 3 hours at the mall suit shopping for the Husband, mammoth piles of laundry, baking for Family Dinner on Sunday, church AND the infamous family dinner. Yes, I did. With only 3 hours of sleep Saturday night and 4 hours of sleep last night.

Sometimes my life feels like the Insomniac's Limbo Dance Party. How little sleep can YOU survive on?! And the drama continues.

Family dinner wasn't nearly as treacherous as I had anticipated. I spent a good quantity of time with my 4 year old niece and 6 year old nephew pushing them on the swings of the swing set. It was one of those perfect Autumny days where it's cool and crisp and the leaves are beautiful but still on the trees so the kids could tilt their heads back as I pushed them and still see leaves on the trees. My sister lives on the outskirts of town so it's quiet and the light is golden. It was lovely.

My brother was...as he is. Funny and witty and charming and gregarious. And I watched him tell stories and chortle and eat and enjoy being surrounded by people who love him. I hadn't seen him for 3 years or so, it was nice...in it's own way. My sister is the calm of the storm, as always. My dad wandered from room to room wallowing in the presence of most of his family. Someday I'll write a post about the melancholiness of being my Dad.

Your turn: How was your weekend? Please tell me you slept more than I did.

Weekend Update

I had a really lovely weekend.

Wow. Let's just let that soak in for a moment.


I know, I'll tell you what we did and then you'll think...so what? But coming off of a month of non-stop social interaction, it was bliss.

Friday night we went for Indian food with the Lovely Lisa. Then on Saturday I cleaned my apartment. Really cleaned it. Without the Husband to distract me. The weather has finally cooled off so I had all the doors and windows open. I did laundry, and I cooked a real meal and not just nachos.

I watched Daniel Deronda again. I laid around in my pajamas. I baked a hojillion chocolate cupcakes that I will cheerfully dunk in milk and eat with gusto.

I had to teach in church and it went so much better than I had anticipated that I'm still happy. I got to chat with my lovely Sister who had been travelling for quite some time. We had some new friends over, the Lovely Sarah and David and we played games and ate cupcakes and ice cream and talked and laughed until midnight.

I'm a little tired today. (See the aforementioned staying up until midnight.) But it was very worth it. Sarah and David are incredibly cool, and...well...I really love the Husband and we stayed up to talk for a while after they left. A little tired is great after a really amazing conversation.

Your turn what did you do over the weekend?

Weekend Update

So, I...um...just saw how long it's been since I posted last and I'm having terrible blog-neglect-guilt, so here I am with a very boring update of what we did for our Labor Day Weekend.



TA-DA! We worked! On Labor Day! Oh we are ironic fools, are we not?



Actually, we headed down to Savannah on Friday. Had dinner with the lovely In-Laws at the wonderful Bellas (their raviolis with marinara are creamy and delicious) on Friday night. Then breakfast with the indomitable Grandmama on Saturday morning then I worked and The Husband did the homework. Saturday night was sushi at Wasabi with The Best Friend of the Husband (hereafter denoted as The Jeff) and The Sarah Ellen (another lovely friend of The Husband) and The Britain (who defies description). Then lots of conversation and home again home again. Sunday was a rousing round of family catch-up, culminating in a lovely dinner at Chez Sheffields in South Carolina. Monday we lazed around the house for quite a while eating crepes and watching the marathon of No Reservations (The Husband has a secret desire to live like Anthony Bourdain when he grows up). We finally got on the road around 1pm and headed back to Durham. I proudly admit that I napped most of the way home (and through the worst of the traffic). Being diplomatic is very hard work.



We got home and got back into our routine. The Husband doing more homework and me unpacking, laundering, packing lunches and chasing the cats...you know, for exercise. Off to bed and up again to start it all over again today. For all that though, and I know, this all sounds incredibly mundane and dull, but it's home and it's ours. And sure, it would be nice to have Anthony Bourdain's life for a week, or even a month. But at the end of the show, I want to come home to my empty answering machine, my cats and bed sweet bed.



Your turn. What did you do for Labor Day weekend?

Amazon dot com: MegaInternetBastard

Here's the story:

I pre-ordered HP7 on Feb. 6th for Chris' birthday. The poor man was working a job he hated for crap pay and knew that he wasn't going to med school and was scrambling for a back-up plan so seeing the pre-order for HP7 was the one bright spot for a good 6-8 weeks there. Besides the fact that i had been listening to him ask when 7 was going to get here for the past YEAR (basically since he finished 6). So, I pre-ordered and amazon.com kept saying that it would be delivered BY UPS on Saturday the 21st.

So we stayed at home. and we waited. and waited. and Chris watched Babel. and we waited. And the mail came. at 6:30pm. And there was a parcel notice saying that our copy of HP was delivered to the office via USPS. and the office closes at 5pm. Chris was LIVID to say the least. I haven't seen him that enraged in a long time. And frankly, when he gets mad...it's best not to be the subject of that rage. So, I go on-line, I pull up the order, and I call the customer service number. I sit on hold. I wait and wait and wait and all the while, Chris is pacing and RANTING about the injustice, how we could have gone at midnight for all this hassle, OR we could have just bought it while we were at Sams Club that morning and on and on and on.

Finally this woman, Anita (bless her heart, poor unlucky soul) answers the phone and I shush Christopher and begin to lay into the poor unsuspecting woman about how this is not the first time that amazon has screwed me over for my naivete, I apologized in advance for my RAGE but I have a very ANGRY husband to live with at the moment and it is the fault of her HATEFUL organization! I don't exactly remember everything I said, but I'm pretty sure I made my case stating the deception of listing delivery BY UPS on Saturday when in reality it had come BY USPS the slowest mail carrier KNOWN TO MAN!!! I went on to assure them that i would be pulling ALL of my business from their organization--amounting to thousands (sadly I wish this were an exaggeration) every year, in addition to telling every living soul about how HORRENDOUS their total WANT of customer service is and that they take unnatural pleasure in SCREWING over their customers. I went on to insist that she forward any recording of my call to the board members and executives so that they could hear the $$ draining from their bonuses and retirement funds. 20 minutes of ranting later, I was hoarse and told her that I felt much better and that if she should choose to leave her current DEMON-ORGANIZATION she could pursue a successful career as a therapist. I think I also told her that she should enjoy sharing this story with her co-workers as I have had a job similar to hers in my past and know exactly what kind of stories get told about calls like the one I just gave her. She chuckled and assured me that the amount of HP7 would be refunded and that I could just write return-to-sender on the package and I wouldn't be charged anything. She was actually a very nice person...but we hate Hate HATE amazon.com now. I'm switching to B&N permanently.

So, there you go. How Melissa Opened up a Can of Whoop A** on Amazon.com.