Interview Schminterpiew

So...

I had a job interview last week.

On Thursday.

I had to get a rental car to get there. Needless to say, we're going car shopping, and soon.

I think I may have also met a friend. Chris and I had chatted with her and her husband at church, they're our age and have a little girl just 6 months older than the Boy. They're very cool. I called her to ask if she would be willing to sit with the Boy and she said sure. I told her I had very low expectations, I really just wanted him to be alive when I got home. She laughed and said, "Well, I haven't lost one yet!" At which point I cracked up laughing and said, maybe we should put THAT on our resumes. She's thoroughly awesome and we chatted books and our eccentric children for a bit after the interview.

What's that? You want to hear more about the interview? Oh, fine.

Initial impression: Chaos. Abject chaos.

First, I didn't interview with Dr. H the way that I was SCHEDULED to, she had decided to go to St. Augustine that day so she wasn't there. Not that anyone CALLED me because they didn't. I called them to ask which building I was supposed to be in because I was the tiniest bit lost, and that's when they told me. Instead, I interviewed with a woman named RW. Her office was PILES of crap. Old text books, new text books, files and files and files and stacks of paper work just piled here, there and everywhere. And I can understand a little chaos, but then she proceeds to tell me how they just moved to four year degrees and they want an enrollment of 3000 students by next year, and they want to build residential communities and they're facing accreditation stuff this year, THIS YEAR and they've done NOTHING for it. She glances at my cover letter (didn't look at my resume AT ALL) and asks me what classes have I taught, and before I can say, she soldiers on with "oh, yeah, Asian American and Western World lit 1, we have that one..."

She then looks at me and smiles and says, "How do you feel about teaching composition?"

Secondary Impression: Who are these people? What have they been DOING all summer long?

I told her that I had a teaching portfolio if she wanted to look at it and she said, "Oh, no, that's not necessary." And so I said, "Well, I've never taught composition, I'm a literature teacher." And she smiles and says, "Well, the only way to become a composition teacher is to TEACH it!"

At which point I resisted the urge to run screaming from the building.

So I nod and ask politely how they're defining part-time because everyone defines that differently. And she says, "Well, we don't write it down, but we generally assign 4 classes (per semester, 8 classes per year)." My jaw dropped and I said, "FOUR?" And she said, "Well, yes...but in your case...it would probably...just...be...two?" And I said, "Ok, what's the typical enrollment in these classes?" And she, again with the smiling, says, "30." So I nod and then tell her that I can only teach in the evenings or at night because I have a little boy. And she said, "Oh. I didn't know that. Well...we have one 102 class on Wednesday nights, will you take one of the 101 classes to go with it?" And I said, "Well, I need to talk with my husband about his schedule first, I can't do anything until I talk with him." So she said, "Ok, well, you can have the 102 if you'll take one 101 too. There's one Monday nights, so that would put you teaching Monday and Wednesday 6-9pm." And then she looks at me like I'm a little spoiled and says, "Everyone wants to teach at night because those are the non-traditional students, they work harder." So I asked her if this arrangement was just this semester because I had heard a rumor that the job was only temporary coverage for someone on family leave. And she said, "well, yes, but we really need to add additional part-time teachers."

At this point I'm thinking, "No. You REALLY need some FULL TIME teachers." But I didn't say anything. I was just trying to make it out alive.

Tertiary Impressions: What.Was.That?

My reservations are grounded on several points. 1) Why are they hiring part time instructors when they clearly NEED full time instructors? Because they can't get anyone full time or because they don't want to PAY for full time instructors with salary and benefits? 2) The Chaos. Oh, my heavens the chaos. I understand a degree of chaos but it should be CONTROLLED chaos, not this. This was unprofessional, desperate, bordering on hysterical. 3) $NOT MUCH/semester for teaching 2 (TWO!) composition courses when I've never taught composition before IN MY LIFE. I don't mean to be all Ebeneezer, but composition is the HARDEST thing to teach, the HARDEST to grade and the biggest hassle and they only want to pay me $NOT MUCH/credit hour? 4) the "interview" was 15 minutes long and she asked me NOTHING about my educational background or professional experience. NOTHING. I could be an axe murderer. Or illiterate! And they wouldn't know because they didn't ASK. 5) her attitude was just off. I know that doesn't help all of you but she acted like a) I had already accepted the position--without any knowledge of salary compensation and b) like I was a little too big for my proverbial britches for inquiring about such particulars as class size and compensation.

And then she starts telling me that she hates to rush me but she has grading to do and her students are already whining about getting the papers back and I remember. All at once, I REMEMBER the whining. First it's the whining about what the assignment is and then it's the whining that the assignment is so hard and then it's the whining to get the damn thing BACK so that they can proceed to whine about their GRADE.

So, all in all, I'm thinking, NO THANK YOU.

But then the idealistic side of my brain kicks in and thinks, "But everyone was nice. And it might be good to teach writing, it might make me a better writer. And the money would be enough for a car payment and insurance. And it would get me out of the house."

But at this point, I'd rather not. She wanted me to have classes ready to go by August 13th. I get NO SAY in my text books--she's already ordered that! I don't even get to design the course how I want it, I have to teach from someone else's syllabus. I'm looking down the barrel of 2 classes, 30 students per class, 4-7 writing assignments per class which works out to be 210 papers to grade PER class, 420 for the semester. FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY papers to grade. All for the grand total of $Not As Much As I Made As a Grad Student per month, plus the cost of my SANITY. And that's to say nothing of the TIME. The time to grade 420 papers, the time that by rights should be The Boy's. Or CHRIS'. Or, heaven forbid! MINE.

Anyway. I told the woman I would look at the syllabi, talk to my husband, and get back to her by the next day. And I did. I didn't just write it off because it's composition, not much money and way too much time. I thought about it.

And then I went and had a long tickle session with the Boy. I returned the rental car, I met Chris, we made dinner, bathed the Boy and talked about it.

And decided we'd really rather not.