Sleepless

The Boy goes to bed around 6pm. It's great for him, he sleeps really well until midnight (I'm blaming this on teething because up until the past few weeks he slept really well until about 4am), but it's less than ideal for me since I am a grown up and don't go to bed (very often) before 9 and I don't go to sleep (most nights) until 11. And since I'm whining, I thought I'd show you what our nights look like lately...

9:00pm: The Husband and the Wife are watching back episodes of West Wing. The Wife is ahead of the Husband so she is also piddling.

9:30pm: The Wife fluffs the whites in the dryer (at this point, she is intent on folding them) and washes up the last of the dishes in the sink.

9:45pm: The Wife is getting ready for bed. Thoughts of laundry have been put off until tomorrow.

10:00pm: The Wife in bed...debating whether or not she wants to read before attempting to sleep.

10:15pm: The Husband has given up the fight to stay awake and joins the Wife in Bed Sweet Bed.

10:20pm: Lights are out. The Husband is snoring away. The Agnes is settled in on top of the Husband and the Leike has decided it's safe to roam the apartment now and has started by licking my fingers until they're raw.

10:45pm: The Husband is still snoring. The Wife is awake.

10:55pm: The Leike is vomiting on the rug under the kitchen table. [It's the third time this week.] The Wife gets up and cleans it up.

11:05pm: The Leike has decided to hunt one of her toys, including her hunting cry. As loud as she can howl.

11:15pm: The Leike is still going.

11:25pm: That CAT is still HOWLING.

11:35pm: The Wife, fed up with this yowl of DEATH, gets up to investigate. Only to find the Leike standing threateningly over a bright green toy mouse and a cardboard box.

12:00am: The Wife is still awake.

12:45am: The Boy wakes up.

12:47am: The Wife goes in to the Boy, plugs mouth with pacifier, retrieves Monte Bear, tucks him back in, all the while hoping he hasn't noticed her and will return to sleep.

12:55am: Not so much.

1:00am: The Wife microwaves a bottle for the Boy, checks his diaper and administers said bottle which he slurps at, all the while attempting to grab hold of wayward hair--MY hair.

1:20am: The Boy is done, tucked in, asleep. The Wife trudges back to Bed Sweet Bed.

1:22am: The Leike has decided she's done for the night and would also like to sleep in Bed Sweet Bed, in MY spot.

3:30am: The Husband is still snoozing away. The Leike is still asleep. The Agnes is pacing the length of my body. Apparently, just to make sure I am still alive.

4:44am: The Wife gets up to avail herself of the restroom. The Leike is asleep on the futon (finally), the Husband is still asleep. The Agnes is still asleep on top of the Husband.

6:30am: The Boy wakes up for the day (YAY!!! Time to PLAY!). The Wife wakes up the Husband pleading with him to please get up with the child because she will crumble to dust if she has to get up and be nice. The Husband gets up with the Boy and shoos out the cats and the Wife returns to actual sleep.

8:30am: The Wife wakes up and spends the next half hour basking in the novelty of being totally alone.





The breakthrough? All I want for Mother's Day is a weekend at a Holiday Inn to SLEEP undisturbed.