The Wife, The Boy and the Epic Battle of Wills

Once upon a time, there was a Queen. And this Queen and her King lived in a beautiful land we'll call Burnstopia. And one day the Queen and the King decided that they should add a Prince to their beautiful land, so they did.

And oh, he was so beautiful when he was born. And they loved him dearly.

And then, one day--we'll call it 3 Weeks After He Was Born--the Prince decided that he HATED everything.

He hated his Mother.
He hated his pacifier.
He hated being hungry.
He hated to eat.
He hated to sleep.
He hated clothes.
He hated to be naked more.
He hated diapers. Especially when they were dirty.
But he also hated having them changed.
He hated his oh so soft bouncy seat.
He hated his car seat.
He hated the softest of blankets.
He hated being only in a onesie.
He hated to be rocked.
He hated being talked to.
He hated being left alone.
He hated sitting still.
He hated looking out the window.
He hated being sung to.
He hated being inside.
He hated being outside.

In short, he hated everything. And he made his opinions known at top volume and right in the lovely Queen's face. And the Queen was so sad that her beautiful little Prince would only scream at top volume right in her face. Until his head turned purple. And the veins popped out. And his lips curled back. And his gums stood out. And she really thought that his beautiful little head might explode and she would have to explain to CPS why her beautiful little Prince was now decapitated.

And then, The King rode in to save the day! He came home and he took the Little Prince by the hand and he finally managed to soothe him in the way that only an edict from a Royal Personage can, and he put the Queen in to Bed Sweet Bed and stayed with her until she fell asleep. And then the King and the Prince got in to Bed Sweet Bed and they also fell asleep. And as proof of the King's devotion to his Queen, look at how much BED he gave her in which to nap.