Birkenstocks make nice people

on 07 May 2008

So I fully recognize that the pregnancy has not brought out my...um, nicer side. I've had some rage issues. Mostly I've contained them to, well, here. Or the Husband. But all in all, I'm not a kinder, gentler wife for being pregnant.

And yet, I wear Birkenstocks. And Birkenstocks can make you a nicer person.

Exhibit A:

I am currently wearing a pair of Birkenstock Milanos in brown. And yes, theoretically, I know that Birkenstocks are not necessarily appropriate professional footwear--I AM 8 MONTHS PREGNANT!!! Also, am a nature-loving hippy. With a love of comfortable shoes.

Last week I ordered a pair of Birkenstock Floridas in black. Just for variety. I received them last night. Well, I received a pair last night, they were NOT what I ordered.

Note: For a rather petite girl, I have some HUGE feet. As in size 9 (wide if I can get them, regular if I can't). They're big and flat like duck feet. The Husband once described them as my most UNattractive feature. I'm inclined to agree with him.

The shoes that I received last night were Narrow. As in those freaky people with skinny feet! Who? Who has skinny feet?

My inclination was to be MAD. After all, I'm 8 months pregnant and all I wanted in my whole life was a pair of comfortable shoes! WAH! So I boxed them up and sent an email to the company from which I buy my very expensive but comfortable shoes.

And I wait. And wait. And wait. And hear nothing. So I called them. They're a company based out of Great Neck, New York and I live in North Carolina. I have no qualms whatsoever about using a Southern accent when necessary and I find it VERY useful when dealing with problematic merchandise returns.

I calmly (and southernly) explain the situation to the lovely woman on the phone. She tells me that I need to talk to this other woman who put the order together. So she transfers me. Here's a sample of the conversation:

Me (Southern version 2.0): Hiiiii. I ordered a pair of shoes in regular but I received narrows--can I return them?

Woman (with a thick Hispanic accent): Ohmygoodness, I apologize, ma'am, I think I made a mistake! I got 2 orders for the Floridas, one in regular and one in narrow and I think I sent you someone else's shooooooes!!!

Me (Southern version 2.0): Oh that's alriiiigh' as long as I can just send 'em back.

Woman (with a thick Hispanic accent): Yes, please, just send them back and I will fix it. I will fix it. I am so sorry!

Me (Southern version 2.0): Oh it's alriiiiigh', I understand. Everybody makes mistakes.

Woman (with a thick Hispanic accent) (also, now crying a little): Thank you. And you are so nice and I am having sort of rough day!

Me (Southern version 2.0): You just need to come south for a bit! It'll fix you right up! And I'll get my husband to put those shoes in the mail, so if you'll just send the regulars, that would be GREAT!

Woman (with a thick Hispanic accent) (also, now crying a little): Yes. I will send. Thank yoooou!

Me (Southern version 2.0): Thank you! You have a good day!

Woman (with a thick Hispanic accent) (also, now crying a little): Yes. You have a good day too.

It just goes to show that wearing Birkenstocks really can make you a nicer person. Also living in the South.

2 comments:

Whimsy said...

I am one of those freakish narrow-footed persons. Say you love me anyway.

AND I PROMISE TO SEND SHOES. AM HAVING SORT OF ROUGH DAY. (XOXOXO)

Katrina said...

You are funny. I hope you get your birkenstocks soon!