6 Years In

Six years ago today, Chris and I were married.

Six years ago yesterday we got into the little yellow beetle.  I had brought a battered copy of Sense and Sensibility to read in the car on the way.  I fell asleep snuggled under a fleece blanket and woke up sweaty, somewhere in South Carolina.  I had spent the week before writing four final papers for my literature classes. 

Six years ago my dear friends Sarah and Layne were taking care of my cats so that I could marry Chris.  They made our little home all neat and pretty for our return, leaving flowers and a beautiful green bamboo which I proceeded to kill somehow.

Six years ago today we went to be married at 9am and drove all the way home to Athens, Georgia.  We left at 6pm and didn't get home until just before midnight.  At several points I turned to Christopher and said, "Why are we doing this?!  We're tired!  We're fried!  Let's just stop and SLEEP!"  But no.  We didn't stop until we got home.  I don't think we even turned on any lights, we dropped our luggage in the living room and collapsed in a heap in bed.  Those were the days before Bed Sweet Bed.  We piled into a twin bed for the next year or so...

In retrospect, those early years were easy.  They were simple days.  We were both students, we lived cheaply, we studied and read and worked hard.  But it was just us two and so the unsettledness and uncertainty weren't quite so heavy as they've become.  I've thought often of how some newly weds really struggle after they get married.  The adjustments are hard.  And there were some adjustments that were hard for us too, but as the years go by, I've found that adjustments are continual.  It's not something you learn once and you're done.  There's a constant re-coreographing of the dance of our marriage and I find that lately we've been out of step a lot.  Not so badly that either of us will leave the floor, but enough to make us both feel embarrassed and clumsy.

But for all of the embarrassment, for all my own missteps, trips and falls.  I can't imagine trying to dance the steps with anyone else.  Thanks for the dance, babe.  Happy Anniversary.