My Secret Identity

I have a confession to make.

I'm not really a Wife. Nor am I really a Mom.

I'm a SUPERHERO.

Mom is only my secret identity. If I learned nothing from watching the Incredibles, it's that, as a Superhero, I MUST protect my identity, therefore I masquerade as an ordinary wife and mom.

But the reality of my life is quite different.

I can hear the smirks from here...wipe them off those faces and I'll show you exactly HOW I am a Superhero.

Situation: the Boy has chased a toy under the dining room table but because of the table legs and the chair legs he now cannot find his way out for all the LEGS. He commences howling. Not to worry! Superhero to the rescue! Enter, Moi, rapidly pulling chairs out and freeing the Boy with the strength of a locomotive!

Situation: Chris has forgotten to email a document from his laptop to himself so that he can access it at work. Not to worry! A text message SOS is sent and received. Superhero enters from the mist, heroic and beautifully disheveled. The document is found and email contact is made. And the outside world remains ignorant of near disaster.

Situation: the Boy has found an Unidentifiable Object on the Ground (UOG) and he's put it in his MOUTH! Faster than he can squawk HELP! Superhero to the rescue! Faster than a speeding bullet, I am there and my fingers fish out the UOG with lightening quick reflexes!

Situation: Chris is out of clean shirts! Work is in the morning! He has a 7 am meeting with Doctors and Administrators and people who will help him in his Career! What are we going to DO?!? WE are not going to do anything, because I am HERE. The Superhero and her magnificent laundering skills, washes and dries those shirts...they find themselves mysteriously hung up in the closet and ready for the week ahead.

Situation: the Boy has stopped playing long enough to realize that he's hungry! He needs food and he needs it NOW! Never Fear! I am HERE! Superhero produces relatively nutritious food and satiates the Boy! He can continue to grow without fear and without gnawing hunger.

There you have it. Me. Keeping Burnsothom safe from the Woes of the World, one situation at a time. And you all thought I was just another wife and mother.