TMI

Too Much Information:

How to Freak ME Out:

Watch The Future of Food on hulu.com. I can't eat ANYTHING now without a shot of paranoid fear...Where did this REALLY come from? What is it REALLY? Who OWNS this? What was it SPRAYED with? We are all going to DIE!!!

[I was eating nachos at the time and every corn chip I lifted to my mouth I scowled at and ordered it, "Don't kill me. I didn't do anything to YOU."]

How to Win ME Over:

--Be nice to Chris.
--Make over my child.
--Ask me about books.

How to EARN my Mockery:

--self-righteousness
--hypocrisy
--gravitas

Things that give me the WILLIES:

--any and every kind of spider.
--almost any kind of insect (I like ladybugs, lightning bugs, and butterflies. I tolerate moths and bees--only because my name means honey bee and they seem to mostly like me...I've only been stung once and it was because I stepped on the thing.)
--raw meat

How to Make ME Smile:

--make my child laugh (I defy anyone to hear his laugh and remain serious)
--sing anything from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
--imitate the dance from Weebl's Kenya Song