Just another Wednesday Morning
I thought you'd all enjoy, yet another, slice of my daily life. (Note* Names and places have been changes to protect the not so innocent but I don't want to enrage the fates.)
I was sitting at my desk minding my own business reading blogs when my phone rang. so I answered it:
Me: Health Stuff and Accouterments*, this is Me*****, how can I help you?
Caller (with a thick Southern accent): Yes, ma'am, I found your number on the Internet. Is this Health Stuff and Accouterments*?
Me: Yes, ma'am.
Caller: Well. Let me ask you, how are you affiliated with the Centers for Disease Control?
Me (starting to be a little weirded out at this point): Ma'am, we're not affiliated with the Centers for Disease Control, the CDC is its own entity. We're affiliated with University in another State*.
Caller: Well, let me ask you this, I contracted an STD a while ago. I was messin' around wi' this man and he tol' me that he tested positive for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia and I KNOW my body! I knows I had Gonorrhea and I been goin' to my doctor and they keeps tellin' me that the tests is negative, they negative, they negative, but I knows my body! I knows I got something from this man I was messing with! I am a 57 year ol' woman and my doctors they just messing with me like I am some kind of guinea pig that they can jus' experiment on and it ain't right! And I am gonna TELL someBODY cause it ain't RIGHT!
Me: Ma'am, where are you calling from?
Caller: Atlanta, Georgia.
Me: Ma'am you've contacted the university of AN-OTHER STATE in Another City*. There's nothing I can do for you if you're in Atlanta, Georgia.
Caller: Well some body's got to do somethin' because this just ain't RIGHT!
Me: Well, ma'am, perhaps you should contact a lawyer.
Caller: Well, I got one of those but I don't trust him. And here I am I could be dyin' of HIV or somethin'!
Me: Ma'am, I'm awfully sorry for you, this sure is a difficult situation.
Caller: Yes, it sure is. I think I'm just gonna have to write some letters STARTIN' with the President and just goin' on down the line! I knows I gots to tell somebody if I has an STD and I know my body!
Me: Well, I think that's probably the best thing to do in this situation. You have a nice day now.
Caller: Well, okay, bye.
Yep. This is my job. Funtastic, no?
Labels: workplace