Just another Wednesday Morning

I thought you'd all enjoy, yet another, slice of my daily life. (Note* Names and places have been changes to protect the not so innocent but I don't want to enrage the fates.)

I was sitting at my desk minding my own business reading blogs when my phone rang. so I answered it:

Me: Health Stuff and Accouterments*, this is Me*****, how can I help you?

Caller (with a thick Southern accent): Yes, ma'am, I found your number on the Internet. Is this Health Stuff and Accouterments*?

Me: Yes, ma'am.

Caller: Well. Let me ask you, how are you affiliated with the Centers for Disease Control?

Me (starting to be a little weirded out at this point): Ma'am, we're not affiliated with the Centers for Disease Control, the CDC is its own entity. We're affiliated with University in another State*.

Caller: Well, let me ask you this, I contracted an STD a while ago. I was messin' around wi' this man and he tol' me that he tested positive for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia and I KNOW my body! I knows I had Gonorrhea and I been goin' to my doctor and they keeps tellin' me that the tests is negative, they negative, they negative, but I knows my body! I knows I got something from this man I was messing with! I am a 57 year ol' woman and my doctors they just messing with me like I am some kind of guinea pig that they can jus' experiment on and it ain't right! And I am gonna TELL someBODY cause it ain't RIGHT!

Me: Ma'am, where are you calling from?

Caller: Atlanta, Georgia.

Me: Ma'am you've contacted the university of AN-OTHER STATE in Another City*. There's nothing I can do for you if you're in Atlanta, Georgia.

Caller: Well some body's got to do somethin' because this just ain't RIGHT!

Me: Well, ma'am, perhaps you should contact a lawyer.

Caller: Well, I got one of those but I don't trust him. And here I am I could be dyin' of HIV or somethin'!

Me: Ma'am, I'm awfully sorry for you, this sure is a difficult situation.

Caller: Yes, it sure is. I think I'm just gonna have to write some letters STARTIN' with the President and just goin' on down the line! I knows I gots to tell somebody if I has an STD and I know my body!

Me: Well, I think that's probably the best thing to do in this situation. You have a nice day now.

Caller: Well, okay, bye.



Yep. This is my job. Funtastic, no?