Anger Management

So aside from general exhaustion and the frazzledness that seems to have taken up permanent residence in Burnstopia. Anger seems to be the pervading mood these days. And for once it's not me!

I acknowledge, I have a temper. Go figure, red hair and a temper--it's so original! That doesn't play into any stereotypes or anything, does it? Having said temper, I have learned to control it. And I do. I still get mad, I just don't let anger govern my actions. For the most part.

The Husband, on the other hand...

There are things that you all should understand about The Husband. He is very loving. He is generous and capable of great kindness. He is freakishly intelligent. He is a great cook and a lot of fun. He also has an unholy temper. And by unholy, I mean Wrath of God.

I will hand it to him, it takes a lot to set him off. But he's been in school for 3 whole weeks and he HATES one of his classes. As in, with the fire of a thousand suns HATES it. In this particular class, he is assigned a group to work with. 3 students, all of them very different, forced to work together for an end goal. It really is becoming redundant, but he HATES one of his group members. She's young. She's just out of her undergrad and still thinks the world is her stage. She got up and left in the middle of their group project planning meeting in order to go chat with her friends. He would cheerfully see her staked in Transylvania.

Of course, it doesn't help things that he really HATES this project anyway.

I wouldn't be whining about all of this except that when The Husband is foul he brings it home with him. And to dinner. And to bed. He gets up and eats breakfast with The Foul first thing in the morning. And by so doing, he makes daily life miserable. It would probably be easier to brush aside if I didn't LOVE him with a love that knows no bounds.

I hate to see him miserable. It makes me want to do the cheerfully staking of the aforementioned hated group member. I've been mulling over just what, exactly, is the hardest part about marriage. And I think it's this: watching someone you love be miserable. watching them struggle. watching them conflicted about their priorities. Living with them and loving them and being invested in them and their happiness, you FEEL all of these things with them. When he is angry like this, I feel it too. The Foul gradually creeps into everything. The carpeting, the walls, the plumbing and the evening meal.

I must admit that for all my fancy book learnin' I can't seem to figure out how to compartmentalize The Foul so that it doesn't effect every living aspect of our lives. I've tried, music, yoga, reading, meditation, long walks, journaling, hot baths and baking. Nothing works. I've tried listening to him, teasing him, cracking jokes, distracting him and nothing. I still lay there at night worried about him and The Foul and brainstorming ideas to try to coax him out of it. What I really want to do is hunker down in my fox hole until it all blows over. At the end of the semester. or year. or program. The flaw with this plan is that it involves up to 2 years of hiding from The Husband. And strange as it may sound, I kind of dig him.

I don't suppose there is a point to all of this whining. You're welcome to send along any suggestions you might have for Foul Eradication, but I remain doubtful of any success. As for me. I will remain in my foxhole until a better alternative rises to the surface. Or The Foul passes over us.