A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad WEEK

on 21 November 2011

Last week was just plain awful.  There's no mincing words, there were very few redeeming moments, Chris and I were both VERY happy to write the whole thing off as over and done.  Thankyouverymuch, what's next?

I met with the nutritionst and began testing my blood sugar.  The problem is that I'm an easy bleeder, so one little finger prick and I'm leaving a trail of blood behind me like some horrific Gretal character.  The one redeeming moment is that, as I get better about knowing what I can eat when, and how much I can get away with, my blood sugar has dropped right back down in to normal range.

Please note:  I have already started a mental list in my head of all those foods that I want but can't have, or can't have as much as I want, for the future date when this little Girl decides to make her appearance.

I also met with my Ob/Gyn, what a colassal waste of time that was.  UNC's VBAC policy is that the attending physician has to sign off on the VBAC before it can be attempted.  My doc ran a variety of different scenarios with resulting percentages of success and the conclusion of all of this?  It's really too soon to tell.  It all depends on Her and when she decides to make her appearance.  If she comes a week or two early then all will be well and fine...if she lingers until her due date, then I'm staring down a scalpel.

May I just ask, What was the freakin' point of me going down there for that?!  I could have told them THAT!  And I'm not even a doctor!

That was Thursday, also known as The Day M Reached Saturation Point with all Her Various Anxieties and had a Ginormous Meltdown.  I spent most of that day in tears, the poor Boy kept getting suspicious of my sniffles (I try never to cry in front of him) and saying, "What you doing, Mama?"  To which I would reply, "Mama's just a little bit sad/scared/frustrated."  At which point he would come over and say, "No you are NOT sad."  It was funny and sweet all at the same time.

The Boy has been on a Grinch kick lately.  He requests it almost every day.  On Friday we were watching it and there's that scene at the beginning, where the Whos are cutting down the Christmas tree and the Boy says to me, "What they doing, Mama?"  And I said, "They're cutting down the Christmas tree to decorate it."  He looked at the screen again and furrowed up his face and said, "That not very nice to those trees."  At which point I laughed until my face hurt.  Some days I wonder how such an amazing kid came from my body.

Friday night we found out that Chris did NOT get the job that he has most recently interviewed for.  The one we thought for sure he was a shoe-in for.   The one the VP had insisted he was perfect for.  And yet...not so much apparently.  We were both depressed and relieved all at once.  The job is mostly mediating interdepartmental conflicts, and Chris does not do well with contention.  He takes it personally, or he loses patience.  He can't seem to keep it at work, so he brings it home with him which then translates to increased tension in our home.  He gets depressed because he can't make people happy.  So, maybe it's a blessing.  But rejection is still hard, especially when we've gotten our hopes up again and again and again.  And AGAIN.  Only to have them fall flat.

And so we get to begin all over again.


RT and M said...

I don't know if you're opposed to this idea or not, but have you thought about the UNC midwives? I hear they're a little more VBAC friendly. I hope you have a better week!

Brett said...

Sorry about all the downs last week. I was especially sad Chris not getting the job. Stinks.

Something great is in store for him. I know you know that, but I just feel like I need to say it anyway.

Cel and JP said...

What a rotten week.

I'm so sorry. Here's a kiss and a hug from me.

Love you!