It's a Seattle Tale...

Post the Second from Whimsy Land!

Yesterday were many errands--some of which she is sure to blog about so check up on her because she'll tell the story much better than me.


But I? I am taking ownership over Customer Service Steve and the Tale of the Kitchen Aid Mixer.

Whimsy's Mama had wanted to give Whimsy a Kitchen Aid for Christmas, because, who wouldn't want to give an expensive mechanical device to their daughter for Christmas? But she couldn't find it for some reason, or maybe it was the shipping the thing over here, I'm not sure--it's immaterial, but it's background, people, so pay attention. She had given a gift card in the amount of the aforementioned desirable Kitchen Aid to the lovely Whimsy.

We were having pedicures and Whimsy's Mama called and said that their Kohl's was having a special sale from some such hour to another and if she went during the sale then the gift card should cover the cost of the Kitchen Aid and she could have this beautiful piece of kitchen machinery for her very own.

We were right there and we are wild and crazy pregnant women (oh dear, I'm really hoping that doesn't affect my Google stats) so we popped over to the Kohl's. We hobbled and wandered around until we found the household goods and then we found the Kitchen Aids and they were so shiny and clean and beautiful and promising delicious baked goods every time we were within their siren's song, but there were no signs about the special sale! There were no fliers! There was no information whatsoever and so I--Brave Wife that I am--went off in quest of Customer Service.

There was literally NO ONE on the sales floor. What is with Kohl's lately? There's never anyone when you need them. So I ended up back in the far corner in Customer Service and that is when I met Customer Service Steve.

Customer Service Steve looked a little miffed. I don't think that he was miffed, I just think he looked that way. He looked like he had been sent back to Customer Service many, many moons ago and someone had forgotten that that is where they sent him.

So I, being a temporarily displaced Southerner, did what any Southern girl would do--I smiled and turned on the Southern Accent. I asked about the special sale and did that happen to apply to the Kitchen Aid mixers--and did he happen to know?

And he said, "Sure. Check the flier. Sale starts at 3pm." So I checked the flier and indeed all kitchen electronics were an additional 10% off, so I thanked him with extra CHARM and trotted off to find Whimsy.

She was standing guard, mesmerized by the shiny Kitchen Aid mixers. So I relayed the appropriate information to her and lo, she was so happy! But Whimsy, y'all is 9 MONTHS PREGNANT! Women who are 9 months pregnant should not be carrying Kitchen Aid mixers, and as I have already mentioned there was NO ONE on the sales floor. I am only 5 months pregnant, I thought that surely that must be the lesser of two pregnant women, so I picked up the one she wanted and took it back to Customer Service Steve.

Why? The gift card was in Whimsy's other bag. We were going to have to put the thing on hold while we ran (I'm speaking figuratively here, people) home to get the gift card and then come back to purchase the Kitchen Aid mixer.

So. We are now two pregnant women walking up to Customer Service Steve with a very large, very heavy Kitchen Aid mixer. It was placed on the counter--you need to get a visual of this, Whimsy and I are both rather...petite. Between the counter and the height of the Kitchen Aid mixer, we could really only see Customer Service Steve's forehead. Alas, we informed him of our ill preparedness and our pregnant states. At which point, Customer Service Steve's head bobs to the side of the Kitchen Aid mixer and checks us out with a very intense frown on his face.

He then demands, "Why did you carry this down here then?!? Why didn't you just ask for help and I would have gone and gotten it!?!"

At which point I'm torn between laughing at the now disgruntled Customer Service Steve and being a little scared of him...the last thing I need is someone else bullying me about "resting" or whatever.

So I shrug and sheepishly reply, "I have issues asking for help."

At which point, he responds that of course he'll hold the mixer until we come back and maybe I should seek out a support group for that issue of asking for help.

That people, is the appropriate and comical use of sarcasm...and props to Customer Service Steve for his use thereof.

Whimsy and I had a little henna done--that story will be posted at the Creamery--so we were really in a fit state to saunter back into Kohl's and purchase the shiny Kitchen Aid mixer, so we did what most pregnant women would do--we sent in Whimsy's Chip.

You have to understand. Chip is...um...not petite. Chip is very tall. And can be a little scary looking when he really wants to be. And I have the feeling he was not terribly amused about having to purchase a Kitchen Aid mixer for his very pregnant wife while she was reclining in the car because of some "exposure" issues.

So, from what I can gather, Chip walked up to Customer Service, met with Customer Service Steve and scared him. More than a little. Apparently, Customer Service Steve contritely explained that he had wanted to help us but that we hadn't asked and he maybe didn't know that we were pregnant and he was awfully sorry.

And Chip purchased the shiny Kitchen Aid mixer and trotted back out to the car where we were waiting and he may have chuckled just a little.