on 13 February 2008

The Husband. He is grumpy. GRUMPY. With all caps.

"How can he be so grumpy when he has such a wonderful wife?" You ask.

Well, I'll tell you.

There are a couple of reasons...the overwhelming amount of work he's required to do for school, he's now applied for 4 internships and of the 4 he's gotten 3 NOs and 1 YES which he turned down (it was too administrative and he wasn't really interested in doing that--so it's fine, just grrr). Add to all of this that Tis the Season for his Annual Funk and it all makes for a very GRUMPY Husband.

I love the man dearly, I want you all to love him as well, and so I generally show his sweetness and humor, rather than his Grumperifficness. But since the Grumperifficness is all we've got right now, I figured I'd just be honest with you.

I suppose the real problem is mine. After nearly 4 years of marriage I still have no idea what to do for him when he gets like this. I generally lay low and keep my head down and wait for it all to blow over--similar to the shelling of Bastogne in January of 1945...stay in your foxhole, keep your head down and wait it out.

I have my own funks, and I generally prefer to be left alone until it ebbs away of it's own accord--so I guess that's why I tend to treat his funks in this way. But I also try to put on a brave face when necessary for work or family. The Husband is just FOUL.

It's more worrisome than usual because, dude, we're having a kid. How am I supposed to teach the Dude that he needs to just avoid Papa right now because Papa is GRUMPY? To say nothing of how that just perpetuates an unpleasant cycle. I love my FIL but we have a "Dad Barometer" when we're in Savannah and we measure, or attempt to measure, his mood. When he's foul, I put my head down and work and when he's happy it's fun and we can tease and banter. But even the Husband is tense when the Dad Barometer is reading stormy skies ahead. I just don't want that for the Dude.

And yet. I'm pretty sure that no matter how much I try, I can't protect the Dude from everything. I have my neurosis, my funks, my foulness too. Between his parents the kid is surrounded by hazards.

I am thawing out butter for cookies...maybe something warm and smooshy and homemade with comfort his Grumpness. Any other suggestions for comforting his Grumpness?


Sarah said...

Glad to know I'm not the only fox-hole hider. Yes, the Layne can be grumpy too. Also, once the kids come you just do your best to be extra fun when he's extra funky and hope he repays the favor when it's your turn for funk and grump and hope the kids appreciate the balance. (They have to learn about "opposition in all things", right?) This almost always works for us, mainly because our grumps are precipitated by totally different things and both of us like to be left alone in our foulness. Basically I'm trying to say your are not going to ruin your kids, you are going to teach them about happy, sad, tired, angry, etc so that they know how to recognize and deal with those emotions when they come hurtling into their lives. (Which will be sooner than you think...) Meanwhile, I think the cookies sound excellent.