Pregnant Thoughts
I've been saving this post for the end of this Whimsy dedicated series because, well, it was the last one she listed, I think it's the least compelling of the topics, and also, the first doctor's appointment was yesterday (the first real doctor's appointment) so theoretically (HAR HAR HAR!) we know more. Also, I feel a bit guilty because I haven't been sick at all. Not a bit of it. Well, sick to my stomach...I could go on for ages about my allergies and the woe of my nose. And I know so many wonderful women who slog through months of misery and sickness for their babies. Apparently, it's not my fault, women in my family just don't get sick with pregnancy. Not to worry though, apparently we get wicked heartburn in the last trimester so for all you haters out there, I will get mine in the end.
Here's what we know. We're only having one baby (yay!), being a twin, this was a reasonable fear so the OB, we'll call her Dr. Wonderland, checked it out for me. We're definitely due July 7th (yay for me! 9 months pregnant in the South! in July! Clearly I am a master planner!). And I'm in pretty decent shape physically (yay!) but need to get back to working out daily once this whole first trimester evil exhaustion abates.
Here is what I realized while there:
THERE IS AN ACTUAL BABY IN THERE!
And also that this teeny little gummy bear sized baby has a heartbeat all it's own and it's just flickering around in there while I feed it a frillion mini Twix bars. And also Rolos. And also mini York Peppermint Patties. And Candy Canes. And Navel Oranges. (I love Christmas!)
This whole thing has been a bit abstract for me...I feel pretty normal. But yesterday...was a reality check. At the end of this wonderful mixed up state of anxiety and confidence I will get this tiny little baby who will look at me and rely on me to feed it and clean it and protect it. And frankly, I feel like the little engine that could, IthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcan, but a time will come when the little baby will grow up and I won't be able to protect it anymore and how can I be expected not to fall into pieces at the pain of watching this teeny tiny heartbeat go out into the world to banged up and bruised and maybe even broken and put back together again by other hands than my own?
So. These are my thoughts on pregnancy. All mixed up and chaotic and random. Also, I really really love navel oranges right now.
Labels: The Boy
posted by M @ 9:21 AM
6 Comments
6 Comments:
Thanks for the Whimsy Series. Shall I request a request for a Wife series over at The Creamery? I'm certainly taking requests...
This is going to sound TOTALLY sick, but after we emailed yesterday, I went to the drug store to get change for the bus - and while there, seriously contemplated buying a sack of gummy bears. Because: mmmm gummy bears. And then I realized why I was craving them and grossed myself out. They really DO look like the tiny fetus, don't they?
They really DO!!!
The Husband wouldn't shut up about it this morning, NOR (I might add) would he stop walking around periodically mimicking what they look like with the wee little arm buds and stiff necks! It was more than a little strange.
This is all so exciting! Even AFTER my first ultrasound, it still was not real to me. It took like 6 months, and I am so serious.
So glad everything looks good so far!
Melissa,
I love you so much. All I can say about letting that heart go out and get hurt is that it really lets you know how Heavenly Father feels about us and how much he wants to be happy and safe (and how much he wants us to ask for his help!). There is so much I JUST DIDN'T GET before my kids came along. Also, I am now certain that you are having a girl, so certain that I almost bought lots of pink things at Target today. And that was BEFORE I read about the chocolate womb you are creating and BEFORE I read that you weren't sick. It is most certainly a girl. Also, I meant to tell you that July is the BEST time to have a baby. You don't have to worry about stuffing breakable (not really) arms and legs into jackets and other winter apparatuses (I typed apparati and spell-check told me that was wrong...pooh) until said limbs are much more sturdy. I hope the rest of my babes come in the summer. I love you. Oh, I said that already. I will try to call you this weekend. Layne is studying for finals so I will most certainly need to talk to a non-studying (and also non-toddler) being. I love you. Still.
we just had our ultrasound and it's starting to sink for me. It's so nice to have some friends nearby to go through this with!
Oh Melissa! How do you have a way of expressing yourself so perfectly? I feel the same way, and I love you. That's all.
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