The Boy's 6th Birthday

My Dear Boy,

Six years ago today, you made me a mother.  I thought in honor of that strange event, I would sit down to thank you for some of the things that you're teaching me.

Thank you for teaching me how to sit still and wait.  Wait for someone else  to learn, to grow, to wake up, to get stronger, to be kind, to listen, to discover the magic in the ordinary world around them.  Thank you for sharing that magic with me.  I know that sometimes I get impatient, but you're very good at reminding me to WAIT. 

Thank you for teaching me that sometimes the most loving thing that we can say to someone is No.  I have worried that so much of my life with you has been about saying No.  I worry that by setting boundaries, I am some how limiting your experience of the world, or worse, fencing you in where you can be safe, but never grow.  I'm starting to see that by saying No, what I'm really saying is "I love you enough to want you to grow up, but we are all growing this way and I'd love it if you come along."

Thank you for teaching me that there are times to hold on (and tightly) and times to let go.  I'm still learning this one, and I suspect that I'll be learning it until I die.  If I loved you less it would, perhaps, be easier.  It will be your turn to learn to sit still and wait while Mama tries to let go.

Thank you for teaching me to laugh at myself, to dance, to sing, to wander and to wonder at the world that I've been living in for a long time now.  Thank you for teaching me that sometimes (most of the time) the point is the Journey and not the Destination.  Thank you for teaching me that sometimes it's ok to eat popcorn for dinner and leave the house messy and just play.  Thank you for teaching me how to hug someone with all the love you feel for them.  

But most of all Thank you for showing me that Heavenly Father never, ever gives up on us.  No matter how selfish or arrogant or rigid we may be.  He knows who we are and what we're capable of and He keeps on trying to help us to see that long after everyone else has given up.  You taught me that, my Boy.  And every day with you is a powerful reminder that He loves us more than we love ourselves.  And sometimes He does that by saying No.

Happy Birthday, son.  You and your sister are my greatest adventures, my hardest work, my biggest worries, and my sweetest joys.

I love you always,

Mama