The Awesome Auntie

on 20 June 2012

I have a confession.

I am a HORRIBLE auntie.  Or rather, I am an AWESOME auntie, but a HORRIBLE sister for I have, in my time, spoiled my nieces and nephews within an inch of their lives.  In my defense, I was rather young when I became an auntie and had no real idea what I was doing.  I plead ignorance, and hope for the mercy of my sisters.

I also hope that I'm still an awesome auntie.  But I can't compete with my sisters.  Sherry in particular because she lives here and my son thinks she makes the world go 'round.  And when I picked him up after a play date at her house, I fully understand why.

He came home, with THIS monstrosity...


That is an enormous candy gum ball.  It's yellow.  And I can only assume it's filled to the brim with high fructose corn syrup and artificial colors and flavors.  Sherry views it as her personal mission to fill my children's lives with the things I explicitly deny them on the grounds that I want them to live long and healthy lives.


It rattled when he shook it.  I was a little scared of what might be on the inside.  And so I challenged him to bite into it.  I thought if it was something truly horrific, better the young to suffer first...


Alas, the gum ball exceeded the size of my child's mouth.





 This is him telling me it's too big and he can't bite into it...




"Mama, please you open my gum ball o' sugary death?"




And, like the complete sucker that I am, I hacked into that thing with a CLEAVER and this is what came out.


And he scarfed them up.  I let him gnaw on the gum ball too...

Because once upon a time I gave my nephews chocolate for breakfast and strawberry daiquiris for an afternoon snack and wired them up until they literally ran laps and my sister wanted to smack us all.  But she didn't.  And so I let her wire up my kid and I shake my head.

And then I usually say, "So when do I get an auntie date?  That's looking like a pretty sweet deal..."

3 comments:

Sibley Saga .... said...

Had to really laugh out loud at this one. She's getting her 'sweet' revenge, aye?

SV said...

Yes she is getting her revenge and it is all the sweeter because mine are growing up fast and Miss can't do much more damage!! :)

Cel and JP said...

aaahahahaha! this made me laugh out loud. Who invented that gumball??? this is awesome.